Thoughts from a messy bed.

Here I am. Ruby Lila -.
A 21 year old woman, lying on my bed with the covers thrown back and the fan turned on in an attempt to cool off after a hot Summer day. Anyone who lives in Melbourne, Australia would understand the feeling of constant heat throughout the night, as if it is a sheet that has wrapped itself tightly around your whole body, denying any slight hope of comfortableness. Don’t get me wrong, I love Summer, it is my favourite season, but the warm nights are a struggle.

I’ve spent most of my day browsing through Youtube, something that used to be a regular daily activity when I was in high school and the first few years of my degree, though now I only do once a month or so, as I simply don’t have the time any more.
I’ve made an effort to do as little as possible today, as very soon I will be starting a whole new chapter of my life and probably won’t be able to do anything like waste a whole day away for a really long time.

I graduated my Bachelor of Nursing degree in December. I didn’t attend the graduation ceremony, but I went in and picked up the certificate the next day. I was accepted into my first preference for a graduate year, which I begin on Monday.
Am I super happy and excited? Yes!
Am I extremely proud of myself? Yes!
Am I shit-scared and feeling kind of completely lost and like I’m walking in blind? Yes.

I begin my graduate year with a perioperative placement. Perioperative includes all of the areas before, during and after surgery. I will do rotations through three perioperative areas, none of which I have ever done any placment in, making me slightly terrified but also extremely excited as I know it will be such an interesting and amazing experience which I am almost 100% certain is the area I want to stay for the rest of my nursing career (which will be confirmed once I actually start working).
I have never been more excited, or scared, to start a new job. I went and visited a friend who will be starting on Monday as well, and was relieved to hear that she is just as terrified as I am (isn’t it weird how knowing someone else feels as lost as you instantly puts you at ease a little bit?). I also went to Google, looking for some pre-reading before starting in PACU (Post-Anaesthetics Care Unit), or Recovery, and stumbled across a forum post where at least five different people stated that a new nurse should never be placed in PACU. This made me panic about one thousand times more than I already was.

Though I am nervous, I am also sure that the hospital would not put a new graduate into PACU unless they were providing the necessary support to make the transition smooth. I also know that as soon as I attend my orientation days and my first couple of days on the unit that I will gain a better sense of direction, which will put me at ease as I will know what I need to work towards and where to focus my energy.

Wish me luck for my first day.
Until next time..